I wonder…

Posted on February 2, 2024 by hdh

I wonder…

When you’re sitting in a doctor’s waiting room or at an auto service provider waiting to be seen or for a service to be performed, sometimes your mind wanders, especially if you forgot to bring a book and are disinterested in whatever they have blasting on their TV. The longer the wait, the more things you come up with to think about. You fall into a trance, a dream-like state. Your thoughts create scenarios with infinite possibilities. Some raise questions, and others imagine impossibilities coming to fruition. Like what I’m writing right now… 

I wonder what would happen if…

… there were no political parties, and just one called the human race.

… those who look down on people with disabilities would get to experience those disabilities for a period of time?

… gender, race, age, and religious equality were not words in any language because they were the norm rather than needing to be asked for.

… subscription costs for things like newspapers, TV, Internet, and phone services were divided equally among all customers rather than making some pay more, so discounts could be given to new enrollees. 

… we could travel anywhere in the world we wanted instantaneously.

… people would listen to reason rather than rhetoric and unsubstantiated misinformation.

… we all cared for each other rather than only ourselves.

… the only disease we had to prevent and protect ourselves from was ignorance.

… animals could communicate with us.

… there was life on other planets, and we could learn from each other and coexist.

… vehicles focused more on conserving energy and being more efficient rather than being built for speeds that should never be reached.

… we actually did what was necessary to mitigate climate change and environmental destruction in our lifetimes.

… filling out forms, like tax and financial applications for loans, was a simple process.

… we didn’t have to pay that extra 3.5% on goods and services if we used a credit card. 

… the Mets and Islanders would actually win the World Series and Stanley Cup. 

 

Someone appears to be talking to me. 

 

“Excuse me, what did you just say? The doctor can’t see me now because he’s waiting to get his car back from the dealer who has him on hold, and I have to reschedule, as your office hours have ended.” 

“Yes, sir.”

“And you will reschedule me?”

“Well, sir, since our office hours are over, you’ll have to call back tomorrow; our office hours are from 9 – 5 every day, except for tomorrow…and the next day… and…, or you can reschedule on our website, provided it’s not overloaded with users trying to schedule.”

“I’ll think about it,” was my reply as I got up to leave. 

It’s a wonder that any of us get anywhere in this world.

 

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My First Day

Posted on January 23, 2024 by hdh

My First Day or Substitute teaching is no fairytale

It was my first day subbing in this district. Trust me, this is no ordinary district. At least the class I was assigned to wasn’t ordinary. I was to teach a literature lesson to a unique bunch of students. How they managed to put this group together is beyond me. 

In my 40 years of teaching, I had my share of challenging students in any given class; however, they were never all in the same class at the same time. I thought I was prepared. 

I stood in the front of the classroom as students glided in. Well, some did. When Tigg entered, he literally bounced in. In fact, I couldn’t get him to stop bouncing. He kept commenting about it being a wonderful thing to do. 

Then there was Cindy, who more or less hobbled in. She was only wearing one shoe; more like a slipper if you ask me. And who wears slippers made out of glass? 

When Punzey came in, her hair was so long that the students behind her kept slipping on it. When she finally found a desk near an open window, she just gathered up her hair and tossed it out the window. It seems she was used to doing that. 

When the twins Hansel and Gretel came in, I couldn’t help but notice they were leaving bread crumbs on the floor behind them. According to the teacher’s notes, they get lost a lot. 

Well, they all got in and took their seats. That is, except for Goldy. She just couldn’t find a seat that suited her. “This one’s too hard.” “This one is not close enough to the door,” “This one is so fragile, if I sit on it, I’m sure it will break.” This went on and on for the whole time she was there. 

When I took attendance, I discovered some of them had quirky names and behaviors. I asked one student, who was a real pain in the Rump, what his name was, and he wouldn’t tell me. He said I had to guess it, and if I didn’t guess it right in three days, I would have to give him my firstborn child. I tried guessing a few names to no avail and then gave up. I can’t imagine that he really would take my 30-year-old child. 

This girl, Red, came in, and when she found her seat, I was going to point out to her that hats weren’t to be worn in the classroom. I considered hoodies to be pretty much the same as hats; when suddenly, I heard a great scream.

“AHH! A SPIDER!”

It seems that Muffy had arachnophobia and was deathly afraid of spiders. When seen, Muffy just got up and ran out of the classroom. 

Once everyone was in their seats, I attempted to start the lesson but was interrupted more than once. First, the hall monitor, Mr. Troll, complained that some gruff kids wanted to come in late and that he, Mr. Troll,  would make sure they couldn’t. I did see three kids named Bill, Billy, and William. They made it into the classroom one at a time, each claiming they were the “Greatest Of All Time.” Just before the last one entered, there was this great howl then a thump coming from the hall. Before I could react, I was told by one of the students that this happened every day and I should ignore it. 

Then, a girl named Bo popped her head into the room and asked if anyone had seen her iPhone. She said she must have lost it somewhere and didn’t know where to find it. She said it had a sheepskin cover. It was suggested that if she went home, it would probably turn up there. Again, I was told that this was another daily occurrence. 

I tried to start the lesson again. Before I could get a word out, Mary, sitting in the front row, screamed, “I can’t believe it followed me here again!”  Mary got up and ran out of the room to catch something, a dog or a cat, maybe? Everyone in the room just broke out laughing and playing. I found out later on the animal was a lamb. Who keeps a lamb as a pet nowadays?

I surveyed the room once everyone calmed down and got back in their seats. Most of the students were looking at me, waiting for instructions. I noticed Jack take a gold pen from another student’s desk and pocket it. I would have said something, but the other student was very big, and I figured I’d let the big guy deal with it, hopefully when I wasn’t around.

Then there was Queeny. She wasn’t looking my way at all. All she was looking at was a pocket mirror. I could hear her mumble how beautiful she was, more beautiful than anyone else in the world. 

Of course, there were the sleepers, Beauty and Alice. Clearly, they had been up all night partying and couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore. Beauty was dead to the world with her head down on her desk. I’m not sure if anyone could wake her up.  On the other hand, Alice was sitting up with her eyes closed and clearly daydreaming. I have no idea what she was dreaming about. She kept muttering things like, “Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!” and “Twinkle, Twinkle, little bat!” and “Off with her head!” Again, as long as she remained relatively quiet, I wouldn’t wake her up. 

I decided to ignore all the distractions and start for the third time when I heard a loud horn trumpeting from afar. 

The whole class cheered. “Hurray! He finally woke up!” Then, they all got up and ran out of the room. 

 I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea what just happened. Luckily for me, one of the students, Winnie, lagged behind and approached me. 

“I thought you taught your lesson quite well, even though everyone says I’m just one with a very little brain,” he said.

“That’s silly,” I replied, “I never even started teaching a lesson.”

 I guess that makes sense. My friend Christopher always tells me I’m just being a silly old bear. But, whatever it was you did do, you did it very well.” 

“Thanks, I guess. Where did everyone go?”

Winnie explained, “When Boy Blue blows his horn, it means that school is over and we should all go home. We never know when that will be, for you see, Blue naps a lot near school in a meadow under a haystack, and he wakes up, well, when he wakes up.”

Winnie thanked me again, turned, and left the classroom to go home. 

Well, that was my first day subbing. What did I do next? I gave up subbing, that’s what I did. Instead, I decided to devote my life to writing and storytelling. Maybe I can tell about this adventure. I’m sure there’s a story to be found in it somewhere. 

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The Hill

Posted on January 18, 2024 by hdh

The Hill

***

Speeding down the hill as the wind whipped by my face, I felt the exhilaration of excitement, knowing that I had taken the challenge. The snow still fell heavily as my fingers began to get colder, and now I had second thoughts. I thought back to how I got into this situation.

The forecast last night was for zero to two inches of snow mixed with rain. Who knew that a rogue blizzard was going to hit?

We met up at the top of Deadman’s Hill. It was aptly named for its slope’s steepness and because the hill’s bottom part was an unguarded cliff edge. My friends and I often sled down the hill with no problem. We would build up a barrier of snow at the bottom that curved off to the side path, just in case we couldn’t steer ourselves onto that path.   We also took the precaution of starting our descent in the middle of the hill so we wouldn’t go so fast. 

However, today was different. We didn’t expect this kind of wind and snow. Although our parents warned us to be careful and not go down this hill, our teenage invincibility prompted us to do it anyway.  

Add to that, and I’m not sure who suggested it, but I can imagine who did; we thought, why not try it from the top this time? What could possibly go wrong? The wind was blowing against us, so surely that would slow us down, and the snow was probably soft and high enough to create its own barrier at the end of the hill.

Somehow, I was selected to be the first to try. I’m pretty sure when asked who wanted to go first, everyone but me took a step back.

What the hell was I thinking?

It usually took about two minutes to get to the bottom of the hill when we started in the middle. But being that it was snowing heavily and the wind was against me, I wasn’t going as fast as usual, though it was fast enough, and I was picking up speed after all, I did start higher up on the steep hill.

Some people say that just before you die, your whole life passes before your eyes. In this case, I was about two-thirds of the way down the hill when not my whole life passed, but instead, wanting to live finally reached the logical cortex of my brain. 

Sleds are not made with brakes, and with trees on both sides of the hill (Did I forget to mention that?), steering off to the side at the speed I was going was not a healthy option. So I did what any other panic-stricken individual in fear for his life would do. I pushed myself off the back of the sled and, at the same time, dug my feet into the snow and let the sled make its own way down the rest of the way. 

Checking myself for injuries (luckily, there were none), I was tempted to scream up the hill (not that they would have heard me), “That was great! Let Ronald go next!” Instead, I slowly trudged up the hill back to where I started and convinced everyone else to go to a normal hill to sled, which we did.

When we got to the other hill, I had to double up with others on their sleds.

I’d tell you what happened when I got home minus one sled, but that will have to wait for another day. 

***image created by CoPilot – Microsoft Bing

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Friend or Foe?

Posted on January 13, 2024 by hdh

Friend or Foe?

It drips from faucets clear – drop by drop. Steady sounds of unbearable torture

Drooping plants and flowers call to it – Give me strength

A desert’s claim of power knows not of its being. 

Yet an oasis of hope nurtures its very essence.

It tempers fire’s embers

Scientists refuse to call it by name, you are only two letters and a number

Earth is its home. It exists more than anything else, and it continues to grow

It’s pulled from the sky, so there is no escape.

Its growth is not its own. It has a dark side.

It takes from others. 

It borrows from the frozen places where man’s foolishness has let ice flow

It taints the world that prisons it by utilizing more of man’s mistakes. 

Acidic torrents make things wilt and die. 

It relishes in the power it holds and the destruction that uses its force to kill

But why? 

 

You are needed. You bring life. You quench a need that means survival. 

You are our savior.

You are water.



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Proceed with Caution

Posted on January 11, 2024 by hdh

Proceed With Caution

If I only had control of when and where a person could be born, I would be the happiest time-historian alive. I might not be the happiest, but it sure would be a lot of fun.

Think about it. I would not have to worry about where I have to travel to go back in time. Presently, the time-history analog device (THAD) that we use is only time-calibrated. To go back to, let’s say, Abraham Lincoln’s birth, I would have to travel to Kentucky to the area where Lincoln’s log cabin should be and then activate the THAD to take me back to February 12, 1809. Of course, I would have to know the exact time of his birth to see it. 

Being able to control where an event happens, I could make my living room the place of birth, travel back to 1809, and watch the event happening while relaxing in my recliner. Wouldn’t that be fun? What could possibly go wrong?

I know, there are all you nay-sayers out there who are complaining that it would disrupt the history timeline. People from the past should have no knowledge of the future, and if you transport historical people to our present locale, the knowledge gained here, when they get sent back, would change whatever was expected to occur. 

I believe history is a fixed event, so anything you try to change will be repaired and rectified by history itself. Think of what happens when you get heart bypass surgery. They cut and pull veins from your leg to bypass clogged arteries to your heart. Does your leg shrivel up because blood can’t flow through the truncated vein anymore? No. Your body reroutes the blood flow, so you are the same person you were originally. Why can’t history do that?

That’s why, as much as you may want to change history with THAD, for example, make sure an evil dictator never gets born, it won’t work. Though, that is a theory I would like to test someday. 

Having things happen in your living room won’t make a difference. I have pointed this out and written extensively about all these ideas to my colleagues and the Department of Time History at the highest level. 

Unfortunately, I have not received any positive reactions from any of these agencies other than that my Time-History license has been revoked. 

Little do they know that I still have my old machine hidden in my house and can rig it so that it is not traceable. So, I’m laying low for now, but someday, you will all be writing about what I accomplished. All I need is to find the key to my cell. 

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An Annual Journey – Start ‘er Up

Posted on January 3, 2024 by hdh

An Annual Journey – Start ‘er Up

The night before, the ball drops. Let’s start anew

Start ‘er up.

Long nights of cold, darkness fills the sky, resolutions made and broken. 

It’s a new year

Start ‘er up.

Cold winds blow, snow, perhaps. Hearts and flowers to give. 

Twenty-eight or 29 – so different, 

Start ‘er up.

Lion comes in, perky crocus peeks through, winds for kites arrive

The lion gives way to lamb, wedding memories.

Start ‘er up.

Foolish beginning, wake-up Earth, buds show growth,

Time off to journey, visit, time to write

Start ‘er up.

Warmth that lasts, garden seeds grounded, trees blossom, 

Remember the warriors, a child’s birth recalled

Start ‘er up.

The longest day, annoying insects awaken, solar protection, 

Water to grow, cut to maintain.

Start ‘er up.

Independence remembered, marching and gathering, get wet, stay cool. Picnic with friends.

Climatize the room.

Start ‘er up.

Days of dog abound, withered grasses, hostile winds approach, 

Time to travel afar, 

Start ‘er up.

New beginnings, things to learn, leaves turn colors, 

Age moves on.  

Start ‘er up.

Beautiful colors turn and fall. Rake/gather or Remain/decompose? Temperatures cool down.

Pumpkins to carve, Scares to share. 

Start ‘er up.

Remember who served, 

Family gatherings, giving thanks and gratitude – Huge feasts.

Start ‘er up.

Long nights, celebrations aplenty, gifts are shared, 

A fitting end.

———-

The night before, the ball drops. Let’s start anew

Start ‘er up.

 

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The Assignment

Posted on December 19, 2023 by hdh

The Assignment

I entered the house rather cautiously.

 My job as a reporter for the local newspaper meant that I was at the beck and call of my editor. If she said that there was a story to be had and I should go to this place or meet that person, I was obliged to do it. After all, it was my job, and I needed the money. 

“We got a report of a new technique for resolving all anxiety issues that doesn’t involve any medication,” my editor said. “If this is true, we’d be the first to break the news. We’re looking at mega news awards and recognition here. Go to this address and find out the scoop. And bring back good news!”

The large house I was entering looked pretty normal from the outside, except for the fact that the door was left wide open. As I stepped through the doorway, I was immediately met by a very tall person. He or she or they were wearing a mask covering all but their eyes and mouth. 

“Glad you could make it,” the voice said in an indistinct way. 

“My name is,” I started to say but was interrupted. 

“Names are not important!” the figure shouted. 

“But I come from…”

“Where you hail from is unimportant also! You’re here, aren’t you? That’s all that’s necessary.”

Whether or not this house had the non-medical answer to anxiety was yet to be discovered. However, this person standing before me was certainly creating some anxiety in me. 

“Now, take off your shoes. They are not permitted.”

I slowly took off my shoes and left them by the door. 

“You must put this over your eyes,” was said as I was handed a blindfold. 

“Now, wait a minute,” I questioned. “I’m here to…” Again, I was interrupted. 

“I know exactly why you’re here. Do you want the scoop or not? If so, put on the blindfold, or get out of this house,” was their very forceful exclamation.

In the back of my mind, I kept telling myself, “I need the money. I need this job. I can do this. Stay confident,” Outwardly, I looked a mess. 

I put the blindfold on. I was led through winding passageways and into a room. Within that room, I was directed to a smaller enclosure. I was asked to sit down and on the floor. I heard the door to whatever I was sitting in close, and then a muffled voice from outside where I was said that I could take the blindfold off. 

Taking the blindfold off was useless as the box, for that is what it was, was completely lightproof.  Feeling around the way we had entered, I could tell that the walls were made of cardboard. It must have been the kind my 4th-grade teacher used back in the 70s, called Tri-Wall, to build structures in our classroom (three-ply thick). This box was big. Big enough for me to walk into, and I couldn’t reach the top of the enclosure. 

It didn’t smell too good either, which made sense after I heard a loud, echoing “MOO!” come from behind me…IN THE BOX!

I followed the wall as quickly and silently as I could away from the sound, using my hands to guide me until I found where it connected to a side wall. I crouched as low as possible in the corner I was in, hoping the beast’s (hopefully only a cow’s) eyesight was as poor as mine and that it was tethered somehow and couldn’t reach me. 

It seemed like hours that I was stuck in that position. The mooing was driving me crazy. At least, that was all I heard; at least, there was no movement heading my way.

After time had passed, a voice from outside the box announced that I should put the blindfold back on again. Luckily, I still had it in my hand. I called out that it was on and heard the front of the box where I was leaning open. Even though I couldn’t see anything through the blindfold, I knew I was being led to a lighted area. 

We reached a spot where fresh air blew on my face. I knew we had reached the front door again. I uncovered my eyes without being told, which took a few seconds to adjust. There, by the foot of the door, were my shoes. 

As I put them on, I turned to the controller of this experience and shouted, “What the hell was that all about? I was here to find out about reducing anxiety without meds, and all I discovered was how to increase anxiety!”

“Why, is that what your boss told you? I would never say a falsehood like that. I always tell the truth,’ was their reply. 

I didn’t know who was the bigger liar, my editor or this creep.

“So why am I here? And, who are you?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not programmed to give that response. You must now leave. I’m expecting my next visitor.” 

That being said, I was pushed out of the door and it was closed behind me. 

I have to admit as anxious as I was going through that whole ordeal, I did feel a tremendous sense of relief leaving that house. Maybe whatever it was that designed this had a good idea of how to release anxiety. 

That, at least, was my thought until I heard two sets of laughter coming from inside the house, and I definitely recognized one of them.

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The Day Before Journal

Posted on December 14, 2023 by hdh

The Day Before Journal

December 24, 2023

It’s that time of year again. Our vacation has been over since October 31st. As soon as the red-suited old man sees those Christmas decorations going up, that’s it, no more goofing off. 

Do you know what it is like lugging that stupid naughty/nice list around for him? He can never sit in one spot. Always on the move, yelling at this elf and that elf about what they’re doing wrong.

“Fix this!”

“Change that!”

“Go to the mines; we’re running out of coal.”

You’d think that politicians grew on trees. I’ve never seen so many stockings needing coal. It gets worse every year. 

We’re lucky if we can catch a glimmer of sleep. 

The vacations are nice. Basking in the sun at some tropical resort for nine months, constantly being catered to. The only red you see is the sunburn on all those not wearing sunscreen. 

But come holiday time, it’s never-ending. 

Wishes for altruist things like ending hunger, world peace, and climate change are few and far between (though this year, there have been more wishes for world peace), not that the old guy would even consider those. 

It’s all about material things. And not small things like in years past. It used to be – give me a doll, a wagon, a LEGO set, or a board game. Now it’s big things: give me a robot, a Tesla car, an AI Universal Construction set, or an Apple Virtual Reality unit (And they are not even built yet!).

Do you know what it takes to procure and assemble those items? It’s like building an Ikea city, with only picture directions.

I would write more about my day, but today is the night before the big honcho goes out and delivers those things. That means gathering all the presents, putting them in bags, lugging them over to his sled, and finding space to put the bags. No easy task. 

He may have the magic touch and be able to be everywhere in the world instantly and fit down narrow chimneys, but trust me, we work in real-time. And he gets all the cookies and beverages (Milk? Think again; those parents are glad to give him something stronger to thank him for bailing them out).

Till tomorrow when I write again, or next week; I really need some sleep. 

 

Signed,

Elf 3.141592 (yeah, like he would give me a real name!)

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A Walk in the Woods

Posted on December 9, 2023 by hdh

A Walk in the Woods

I needed some air. I left my cabin and proceeded down the path in front of me. Yes, it was dark, but the moonlight shining down through the trees provided enough light for me to see everything.

I didn’t need any light. I had traveled this path before. My senses were attuned to the outdoors. I could feel the ground beneath me. Its irregular texture was familiar to my feet. Within each change of feeling, I was directed on the road to follow.

The sounds themselves were also a guide. The hooting owls, whippoorwills, sleeping animals, and night creatures. The quiet hush of the winds moving through the trees – again, a guide.

The smell of pines, other trees, and plants filled my spirit as I walked. 

The bright light of the moon highlighted the images of calm. The shadows formed below told many a story of previous walks.

Yes, I needed air, but I also needed peace. And this is just what I found. 

As I rounded a bend in the road, I saw her standing, or should I say floating in front of me. 

Glowing long, wavy, white hair flowing with the wind. A slender body covered with a silver gown and cape. An ageless face, looking down at me and smiling. 

“We’ve met before,” I said.

“That we have,” she replied, “more times than can be counted.”

“What is it that has brought you here today?” I asked. 

“You, of course, for you sought me out.”

Initially, that was a bit confusing, for I thought I took a walk to get some air. Then, I realized that I also needed something to write about. You see, I had been stuck with what was happening in the world and had forgotten how to write. My frustrations had led me to seek out some air. Was that the connection?

“You wish for me to give you an answer,” her thought spoken aloud. “You should know that I do not give you your ideas; they come from within. Think upon your journey here.” 

So I did. The sights, the sounds, and the feeling all filled me with thoughts.

As I watched my muse slowly fade away on this moonlight night. I murmured, “Thank you.”

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Who Lives Next Door?

Posted on December 8, 2023 by hdh

 Who lives next door?

It’s interesting how your new neighbors treat you when you move into a new home and how the land around you develops from when you move in.  At least it was for me.

I purchased my first house in 1985. Up until then, I had only lived in apartments. Across the street from this new house was a wooded area that had never been developed as long as I had lived there. I’m pretty sure it still isn’t. 

The neighbors immediately on the west side of my house quickly introduced themselves to me. We quickly became friends, of a sort, throughout my 8-year stay in that location. The owner’s wife was a teacher, so we had things in common. I got along with her husband and her two young kids. I’m still Facebook friends with them, though we rarely interact. 

On the east side of my house was a family with several kids. I’m not sure who the parent of these kids was. A wooden fence blocked the house bordered our house.  I can only describe their backyard as a junkyard. We never interacted with that family at all. 

In 1996, being married and with a 3-year-old child, we moved to our present house in Shoreham. My neighbor to our south was an older man and his wife who didn’t interact with us at all. We never saw his wife in the few years they remained there. That’s a mystery that was never explained. 

On the north side of the house was undeveloped woods between us and the next house. It was a good place to dump raked leaves in the fall. 

Within a few years, we had new neighbors on the south side, which we became very close to quickly. We helped each other a lot.

A house was built on our north side, and we had a new neighbor whom we never interacted with at all unless there was an issue with sand flowing down from his property into ours when it rained heavily. 

Across the street, we also interacted with neighbors periodically but were never very close to either of them, though we were friendly with them.

Time has passed on. We have new neighbors on our south side now. It’s a family of 4. We interact with them well and are helpful to each other. Their kids are young and fun to be around,

There have been two other owners on our north side since the house was built; however, we have never become friends with either of them or their families. However, I did interact with the kids that live there now when I substitute taught in our district pre-Covid. 

I’m unsure of what magical impediment prevented us from getting to know and friend people who live(d) to the left side of our houses (east and north). 

One of the residents across the street from us moved, and the new people who have moved in have become good friends. We interact and help each other whenever needed. 

Neighbors are a tricky thing. It’s easier to introduce yourself to new people when they move in. Time will tell how friendships and relationships will work out. You try your best to be part of a community, but you can’t pick who will be the ones that live next door and what kind of people they’ll be. You just have to be who you are and hope for the best. 

So far, I’ve been pretty lucky. 

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