I’m working on a story that I wrote year’s ago and want to make into a telling version. I would appreciate it if you could look at it and help me revise it. I’d be grateful for any revisions and/or edits that make it a better story (both in telling and written form). Thanks.
Once there was a frog, named Jeremy, a very green and lonely frog. He lived in a lake in the middle of a forest in the kingdom of Selat. He was not at all like the other frogs, for he could do something that none of the other frogs could do. You see, Jeremy had learned to read. No one knows how he learned or what made him capable of understanding that which he read, but he did. It was truly amazing.
Every day Jeremy would hop all the way over to the palace, squeeze through a crack in the Eastern wall and enter the King’s Library. He would climb up into a book and just read. In fact, all Jeremy wanted to do was read. He loved to read books on science and history, folktales, fairy tales and legends. He adored fantasy stories about princesses, wishes and dragons.
He would sing to himself:
I love to learn, things I don’t know
I love to read and feel my mind grow.
Things that are near, things from afar
I love to learn the more things there are
Being able to read did come at a price. None of the frogs in the lake wanted anything to do with Jeremy and they made fun of him. They did not understand.
“Why do you spend all day reading books? ” they would ask.
“It’s such a waste of time.” others would say.
Older frogs questioned, “What good will it do you? You should be catching flies and croaking on lily pads like the rest of us.”
As much as Jeremy enjoyed reading and learning, he still wanted to have friends. All the scorn he got from the other frogs made him feel even lonelier.
One day Jeremy came across an oddly-shaped stone on his way to the palace. He had never seen it before. It was red with yellow and blue spots and gave off a glow. On closer inspection Jeremy noticed an inscription on its base. It read, “THIS STONE WILL GRANT YOU YOUR HEART’S DESIRE. THOSE DARING ENOUGH TO RUB THE STONE THREE TIMES WILL BE GRANTED THREE WISHES. USE THEM WISELY”
Jeremy was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to try it. Without even thinking he rubbed the stone three times. There was a puff of smoke and the stone disappeared.
Jeremy thought and thought and finally made a wish. “I wish I would be liked by all frogs!” he shouted. Nothing happened.
He returned to the pond. Unexpectedly he was greeted by a group of frogs who remarked, “If it isn’t our good friend Jeremy. Why don’t we all go down to the pond and do nothing all day but croak and eat flies?”
Jeremy was about to say no so that he could go back to the palace and read more about mystical stones, but instead he said, “Sure I’d love to go. I like nothing better than to sit all day and do nothing. ”
“No wonder everyone likes you so much,” croaked a big green frog, “you always do what we like.”
You see, Jeremy had gotten his wish. Everyone liked him. As well liked as he was, Jeremy felt terrible. Deep inside himself where no one could see, he wanted to read and learn new things, but he couldn’t get his body and mind to do it.
Sung sadly:
I love to learn, things I don’t know
I love to read and feel my mind grow.
Things that are near, things from afar
I love to learn the more things there are
He just sat all day with his newfound friends doing the things that frogs do. He was no longer lonely, but he was far from happy.
Jeremy didn’t know what to do. He thought about how good it was to have friends, yet how sad it was that frogs didn’t like to learn. He thought about people and what they did and how they had so many books. They must love to learn. If he could be like them . . .It was then that Jeremy had an idea. He wished that he was human.
This time something did happen. All of a sudden things around him began to look much smaller. When he looked down, he no longer saw his frog legs and frog feet. In their place were the legs and feet of a man. It took him awhile to get used to the feeling of being human. Since he was in the middle of the woods, he decided to go to the lake, where he had spent much of his time as a frog.
Jeremy found his way to the lake with little difficulty. Looking down into the clear, calm waters he saw the reflection of his new image. He was mesmerized. In place of his frog features shimmered the reflection of a tall and handsome man. As he gazed into the water admiring himself he heard a voice sing:
I love to learn, things I don’t know
I love to read and feel my mind grow.
Things that are near, things from afar
I love to learn the more things there are
Reflected in the lake beside him appeared the image of a beautiful, young princess. He quickly turned around and there she was – Princess Allison. He could scarcely take his eyes off her. She had long blonde hair and her eyes were deep blue. Her gentle face melted his heart away. He saw that she was gazing intently at him. Jeremy, it appeared, had captured her heart as well. They spent the rest of the day together talking all the while about the beauty of nature and all the wonders of the world. Jeremy was finally happy. What could go wrong?
It was at the end of the day that disaster struck. As they walked back to the princess’s palace, right beside the garden pond, Jeremy noticed a frog in the water that looked very ill. It was his father. Without thinking Jeremy jumped into the pond and placed the sick frog onto his lap. The princess didn’t know what to think. Jeremy caught a few flies and fed them to the poor, sick frog. Jeremy made some strange croaking sounds from his throat, but the frog in his hand didn’t seem to recognize him.
It was then that the king happened to be walking in the garden. Upon seeing Jeremy squatting in the pond feeding a frog in his hand, the king became furious. He ordered Jeremy out of the royal pond, but Jeremy wouldn’t leave his sick father. The king then ordered the guards to take Jeremy away and lock him in the highest tower.
As he was being hauled away, Jeremy looked deeply into the princess’s eyes that were fixed on his and said, “Do not forget me.” The princess didn’t know what to say.
Jeremy remained in that tower until his father died three days later. All alone again he thought about what to do.
Sing again:
I love to learn, things I don’t know
I love to read and feel my mind grow.
Things that are near, things from afar
I love to learn the more things there are
He could no longer live as a human: he knew that his frog instincts would always come back to him. He would never be accepted by people. His only recourse was to return to the life that he had once led.
He used his last wish to return to the pond as a frog, just as it was before he had found the magic stone. He became the same friendless frog that spent days reading books and studying in the palace, croaking sad songs of loneliness in the pond in the palace garden.
And that’s where this story might have ended, had Jeremy not fallen asleep one day in the middle of a fairy tale book. He awoke to the sound of a familiar voice,
“Oh look, it’s a cute frog sitting on my favorite book. If I didn’t know any better I would say that he is reading it.”
Jeremy was picked up and found himself gazing into the eyes of Princess Allison.
“Those eyes,” she exclaimed, “they seem so familiar. . . Will you be my friend? It’ll be fun having someone to share all my stories with. We’ll have a grand time together.”
And so, Jeremy lived on in the palace. He continued to learn along with his friend, Princess Allison. They shared most of their stories down by the pond where the other frogs lived. And though the other frogs couldn’t read, they began to understand the wonder of the stories told. As for Jeremy, he lived happily for the rest of his days.
I love to learn, things I don’t know
I love to read and feel my mind grow.
Things that are near, things from afar
I love to learn the more things there are
And that’s the story of Jeremy the frog.
