Early in third grade a new student entered my class. He arrived with his mother. Jay came from Israel and didn’t speak any English. He did however have one word of English down pat, “NO!” Before even uttering a word to the teacher, Jay and his mother got into a heated conversation right in the front of the classroom. I, nor anyone in my class, could understand a word that he and his mother were conversing about. She shouted at him in Hebrew. He responded loudly to her in Hebrew, emphasizing each statement with the word, “NO!”. That much we all understood
Needless to say Jay lost whatever argument he was having with his mother and had to stay in school. I never did find out what that argument was about. Jay was rather stand offish that first day, but as time moved on we became close friends. As time went on the whole class helped him learn our language. He lived only a few blocks from my house, so we played together a lot after school and on weekends. Even though we weren’t in the same classes after 5th grade, we remained friends. We attended the same Junior High School and High School.
Jay’s mother was always at home when I came to visit. She seemed to always be cooking and she only cooked one thing, ‘Stuffed Cabbage’. She always had a pot of it on the stove. Or if she didn’t she could always heat one up if we were hungry. Until I had met Jay, I had never had stuffed cabbage. I used to enjoy wheedling an invitation for dinner just to have his mother’s stuffed cabbage.
Teenagers tend to sweat more as they get older. I noticed no change in Jay or myself, but my parents and sisters certainly did. They could tell that he had visited us, even if they didn’t see him. They enjoyed teasing me about it whenever they could. I was of course clueless as to what they were talking about. I had noticed nothing. I didn’t find out until many years later that this occurred at all.
After high school we went off to different colleges. Jay stayed in the city and I went off to Stony Brook. We kept in touch whenever I visited home and shortly after college, I was invited to be an usher at his wedding. After that we went our separate ways, he went to work with the Post office in Westchester County, and I became a teacher here on Long Island.
We lost touch and had not communicated with each other for the past 30+ years. I did try a few times to search for him on the Internet, but he seemed to have disappeared.
About a month ago, I received a telephone call. The voice on the other end asked, “If this was the Harvey Heilbrun that used to live on Waldo Avenue”? Before I even answered the question I knew exactly who it was. “Jay’? I replied. He had not changed in the least.
His wife being more techno-literate had found my name on the Internet and he called me. His daughter was about to enter college and was considering Stony Brook. He thought of me, living out here and wondered if I had any connections. It was nice to hear from him again. We shared some of what had transpired over the past 30 years in our lives. Both his parents were still alive, though in nursing homes.
The most interesting part of our conversation had to do with his mother and mine. He said that he was talking with his mother and she had recently talked with my mother, which was why he thought of searching me out and giving me a call. I had to tell him that my mother had passed away over 9 years ago and if his mother was talking to her, that either she was having an out of world experience (which I would really like to get in on, because I have some questions I would like answered about family history) or that she was a bit confused as to time.
I invited him to come visit, and stay for over if his daughter went to Stony Brook. I have to assume that his daughter didn’t choose Stony Brook, since I haven’t heard from him since. At least have each other’s addresses now and can exchange cards each year and keep up to date.
There was also an interesting parallel in my son’s life. When he entered 3rd grade, he too had a student from another country, with limited English skills, enter his class, though with a more positive approach to school than Jay had. They have become good friends. I wonder if his mother makes stuffed cabbage?
