The writing prompt for this piece was – use a familiar quote or catchphrase. The phrase I used was from a familiar book written by Lewis Carroll. The catchphrase is from the Disney version of that book.

Watch the Time

I pride myself on being punctual. I’m always on time for every appointment and arrive at work at the correct time. There is rarely a day that I don’t leave at the appropriate time. 

I also love technology, though I’m not willing to spend a fortune on the latest gadget. That said, I look for new and exciting things, especially if the price is right. 

This brings me to my recent purchase. 

I owned an old Apple Watch 4. I purchased it refurbished two years after they had already released version 6. It served my needs. It showed the time in many different formats, could count my steps and activity, and even took my pulse and measured my heart rate. 

But the Apple Watch 4 is long gone. The new Apple Watch Hermès Ultra 2 came out with many more bells and whistles. It’s now basically a mini wrist computer that can also tell time. But who wants to spend over $1,400.00 on a frickin’ watch.

I decided to look elsewhere and found this new startup company, Elica’s Wonder of Discounts Land. It had exactly what I wanted…I thought.

It’s called the Jabberclock E. How they came up with such a ridiculous name is beyond me. But the price was right, so I bought it. I wouldn’t dream of spending any more than I did. 

And the things it could do!

The watch never needs winding or recharging. I was told that it would run perpetually for life. (I’m not sure whose life.)

It counts my heartbeats and pulse and measures all of my heart functions, both medical and spiritual. It is also good at measuring my height, though I don’t know how. As I grow or shrink (as one does as one gets older), the numbers change to represent my current size. 

It has an incredible GPS. I can locate any destination I want, even in places I haven’t even heard of, despite the fact that they must exist. Its Find Me app allows me to find myself whenever I get lost. 

Just like the Apple Watch, it measures my sleep and resting time. It records when I’m awake, in core sleep, deep sleep, and REM sleep (that’s the time spent dreaming, not that I dream very much).

The watch also has a prediction and statistics mode, whereby it advises me on what moves to make when I play a game. You have to pay close attention to it in that mode. If you go against its suggestions, it transmits a terrible electric shock to your system, enough to make your head fall off. 

It also has a language translation system. I haven’t quite figured out how to get it to translate languages into English yet. All I get is rhyming gibberish whenever I ask for a translation. It’s not a function I often need so that I can live with. 

Of course, that brings us to the main reason one should buy and wear a watch – to tell time. 

I have to admit with all the wonderful things the watch does, telling time is a major problem. 

I can have multiple faces on the watch, and I can add little notifications and screens that allow me to see everything I’ve described the watch can do. I can even choose between analog and digital, date and day display, and 12 or 24-hour time display. But when it comes to showing the correct time accurately, it never does. No matter how I set the time, it always runs late. If I set the watch to the correct time and know that I have an appointment at a particular time, when I look at the watch close to that time, it can be 35 minutes later. I’ve even tried to fool the watch by setting it 35 minutes earlier than the real time, and again, when I look at the watch close to the time I’m supposed to be somewhere, it is the same 35 minutes late. Even if the time I initially set the watch was two minutes before I had to be there, I’ll still be 35 minutes late.  No matter how important the date is, I’m always late, late, for that very important date.

This was a deal breaker for me. As I said, I pride myself on being punctual, not that I’m OCD about it, but this watch just does not cut it.

I guess you get what you pay for. 

I still have the watch, and I’ll occasionally wear it. However, my go-to timepiece is one that was gifted to me a long time ago, when I was much younger. It’s a watch I can rely on. I know, but bear in mind that it’s just silly old me.

If you’re going to buy a watch, you might as well get one that’s based on a book you’ve read.