U – What is wit youse guys?
Ursula woke up and stared at Ulysses, lying there making that fake snoring sound, pretending to be asleep. Poking him, she said, “You are not fooling anyone. Get out of bed and make my coffee; it’s your turn.”
Ulysses opened one eye and mumbled, “You can make your own coffee. I made it yesterday.”
Ursula’s poke was a little bit stronger this time. “You made it yesterday morning,” she replied, “I made it last night, so it’s your turn.”
“You think you’re so smart,” Ulysses thought, but out loud, he said, “You’re right, as usual, I will make your coffee.”
Ursula got dressed and came downstairs for breakfast. On the dining room table was a cup of coffee. Well, there was a cup and granules of coffee in it, but it was missing one ingredient: hot water.
Ever the joker, Ulysses could see the perplexed look on her face. “I’m sorry, I made your cup of coffee. Did you want it with water also?”
I would say that the day went downhill from there, but since this was how their days usually went, I would have to say things continued on level ground. But for some unknown reason, they stayed together.
“You! You!” she grimaced, “Why do I even stay with you?” She said as she added the hot water from the tea kettle (at least Ulysses had set it up) to her cup.
Ulysses politely made a ham and egg on muffin breakfast special, put it on a plate, and placed it in front of Ursula. “Because I cater to you’re every whim,” he said, “And you love me.”
Ursula had no response, so she just had her coffee and ate her breakfast.
“What do you want to do today?” Ursula asked.
“What do you want to do?” was Ulysses’ response.
“I always decide, it’s your turn,” she said.
“Ah, then I decide we should do nothing all day,” he announced.
“You always do nothing. Let’s go shopping.”
“And you always go shopping,” Ulysses was quick to say. “I vote for nothing.”
“If I do nothing all day, I’ll go stir-crazy. We at least have to do something,” she said.
He suggested, “How about we watch the ballgame? I see that the Mets are playing at 2:00.”
“Another ballgame? How many do they play in a week? It seems like every day.”
“Yeah,” Ulysses answered sarcastically, ‘that’s how the baseball season works.”
“Well, You can watch your baseball. I’m going out.”
Ursula left the breakfast dishes for Ulysses to deal with and sent some texts to her friends. She was about to head out when she turned to Ulysses and said, “Don’t forget we’re having dinner tonight with your co-worker, Uriah.”
“Right,” he responded, “and that woman from your book group, Uma.
She added, “I’m hoping they’ll hook up. They are perfect for each other.”
“You should know,” look at how well we turned out,” he said as she left for the day.
As the door closed, neither could hear each other say, “I hope you’ve planned a good meal. We should make a good impression on them.”
What happened that evening? Regardless of Ulysses and Ursula’s attempt at a truthful portrayal of a well-matched couple in front of Uriah and Uma, I am certain that unforeseen consequences will follow. Any guesses?
