N – Narcissistic
My name is Norman. You should have heard of me because I am a wealthy, wonderfully talented, great-to-know person. There is nothing that I can’t do and won’t do when asked.
Ask me about any of my experiences.
Did I climb Mt. Everest? Yep.
How about breaking the speed record for running a mile? Yep.
I can hold my breath for over five minutes.
My invention of spy satellite technology has amassed a fortune. If you look me up in the book Who’s Who in the World, I’m listed. You might find that book hard to find, but I assure you, I’m listed in it.
I’m not afraid of heights. I’ve scaled the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, which is the tallest structure in the world, by myself with nothing but my strength, agility, and endurance.
I’m an unlisted name on the patent for the first Apple computer. I trained Steve Jobs, but you won’t find that listed in any biography of Steve.
Most of my wealth comes from my astute knowledge of the banking world and well-placed investments. I didn’t even need an advisor to guide me.
Women fawn over me. Too many famous women to count wanted to marry me. Men are just jealous of my success. I could easily have been elected President of the United States during the last election. That’s how popular I am, but at age 24, I wasn’t eligible to run. And don’t think I won’t in 2032.
So, remember my name, Norman Hackenforger.
If you haven’t heard of me before, you certainly will soon enough. You’ll have to wait until this bogus trial for forgery and hacking into the U.S. Treasury system is resolved. It’s amazing how witnesses lie just to make their names known and sell their books.
By the way, my new book, You’re the Best: The Official Biography of Norman Hackenforger will be released about the same time I am.
