The Assignment
I entered the house rather cautiously.
My job as a reporter for the local newspaper meant that I was at the beck and call of my editor. If she said that there was a story to be had and I should go to this place or meet that person, I was obliged to do it. After all, it was my job, and I needed the money.
“We got a report of a new technique for resolving all anxiety issues that doesn’t involve any medication,” my editor said. “If this is true, we’d be the first to break the news. We’re looking at mega news awards and recognition here. Go to this address and find out the scoop. And bring back good news!”
The large house I was entering looked pretty normal from the outside, except for the fact that the door was left wide open. As I stepped through the doorway, I was immediately met by a very tall person. He or she or they were wearing a mask covering all but their eyes and mouth.
“Glad you could make it,” the voice said in an indistinct way.
“My name is,” I started to say but was interrupted.
“Names are not important!” the figure shouted.
“But I come from…”
“Where you hail from is unimportant also! You’re here, aren’t you? That’s all that’s necessary.”
Whether or not this house had the non-medical answer to anxiety was yet to be discovered. However, this person standing before me was certainly creating some anxiety in me.
“Now, take off your shoes. They are not permitted.”
I slowly took off my shoes and left them by the door.
“You must put this over your eyes,” was said as I was handed a blindfold.
“Now, wait a minute,” I questioned. “I’m here to…” Again, I was interrupted.
“I know exactly why you’re here. Do you want the scoop or not? If so, put on the blindfold, or get out of this house,” was their very forceful exclamation.
In the back of my mind, I kept telling myself, “I need the money. I need this job. I can do this. Stay confident,” Outwardly, I looked a mess.
I put the blindfold on. I was led through winding passageways and into a room. Within that room, I was directed to a smaller enclosure. I was asked to sit down and on the floor. I heard the door to whatever I was sitting in close, and then a muffled voice from outside where I was said that I could take the blindfold off.
Taking the blindfold off was useless as the box, for that is what it was, was completely lightproof. Feeling around the way we had entered, I could tell that the walls were made of cardboard. It must have been the kind my 4th-grade teacher used back in the 70s, called Tri-Wall, to build structures in our classroom (three-ply thick). This box was big. Big enough for me to walk into, and I couldn’t reach the top of the enclosure.
It didn’t smell too good either, which made sense after I heard a loud, echoing “MOO!” come from behind me…IN THE BOX!
I followed the wall as quickly and silently as I could away from the sound, using my hands to guide me until I found where it connected to a side wall. I crouched as low as possible in the corner I was in, hoping the beast’s (hopefully only a cow’s) eyesight was as poor as mine and that it was tethered somehow and couldn’t reach me.
It seemed like hours that I was stuck in that position. The mooing was driving me crazy. At least, that was all I heard; at least, there was no movement heading my way.
After time had passed, a voice from outside the box announced that I should put the blindfold back on again. Luckily, I still had it in my hand. I called out that it was on and heard the front of the box where I was leaning open. Even though I couldn’t see anything through the blindfold, I knew I was being led to a lighted area.
We reached a spot where fresh air blew on my face. I knew we had reached the front door again. I uncovered my eyes without being told, which took a few seconds to adjust. There, by the foot of the door, were my shoes.
As I put them on, I turned to the controller of this experience and shouted, “What the hell was that all about? I was here to find out about reducing anxiety without meds, and all I discovered was how to increase anxiety!”
“Why, is that what your boss told you? I would never say a falsehood like that. I always tell the truth,’ was their reply.
I didn’t know who was the bigger liar, my editor or this creep.
“So why am I here? And, who are you?”
“I’m sorry, I’m not programmed to give that response. You must now leave. I’m expecting my next visitor.”
That being said, I was pushed out of the door and it was closed behind me.
I have to admit as anxious as I was going through that whole ordeal, I did feel a tremendous sense of relief leaving that house. Maybe whatever it was that designed this had a good idea of how to release anxiety.
That, at least, was my thought until I heard two sets of laughter coming from inside the house, and I definitely recognized one of them.
