N: You named me WHAT?

You Named Me What?  

September 13, 1950

Dear Mom and Dad,

Seriously guys, Harvey? You couldn’t come up with a more exciting name than that? I bet in my whole life I will never run into another Harvey. What were you thinking?

I realize that in our tradition you have to name your newborns after someone in your family who died. But you do realize, that in your entire list of ancestors, no one was ever named Harvey. I know you took the first letter of some of your ancestors like Herman, mom’s father, and Heinrich, mom’s grandfather, but couldn’t come up with a better first name than Harvey. Harvey is a name for a rabbit. Why not Henry or Harry, they at least have some class. Or make it totally unique like Homer or Hero. I mean Homer Heilbrun sounds like a great name, especially if I become a professional baseball player. 

And then there’s my middle name, David. How common? Not to mention again, no one in our ancestry has the name of David. I guess David was pulled out of the Jewish ancestry hat dad since your Jewish name is Jacob ben David. Then again, who the heck was Jacob. There’s no Jacob in our family tree. I don’t even know of an ancestor that has a J name. Yeah, I know David was a great king of the Jews. I guess I have that going for me. But who calls anyone by their middle name? 

Face it, I’m going to be called Harvey. There’s nothing that can be done with it. William can be a Bill, Jeffrey can be a Jeff, Henry can be a Hank, Robert a Bob…You get the point. Harvey is going to be Harvey. I might as well be called by my first initial.  “How’s life going for you “H”? 

You know, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to start calling everyone in my family by their first initial. See how they like that. Got that E and W?

I sure hope your next kid gets a better shot at the name lottery. 

                  Your newborn,

                          Homer H.