H – Hearing, What did you say?

H – Hearing, What did you say?

Did you ever wish you could hear differently than you do now? I do. 

When I was young I heard everything, whether I wanted to or not. My parents talking in the hall about where they could afford to send me to camp. My friends and not-so-friends talking about me when they thought I wasn’t paying attention. The actual dialogue in movies I went to. My older sisters modeling teenage behavior in their interactions with my parents so that I could be prepared when I reached their age. 

When I was outside I could hear every nuance of animals making noise. The wind as it rustled up leaves or blew through the air pushing clouds through the sky. The mosquitoes and bees as they targeted me for food and pleasure. The sound of the Good Humor and Bungalow Bar ice cream trucks.

Thinking back to those days, I miss all of the sounds that accompanied the sights all around me that aren’t as obvious to my ears now. 

As I grew older there came a time when I learned how to shut out some of the sounds that I heard. My parents arguing. The sounds of my Chemistry teacher who used to drag chalk across the blackboards creating a high-pitched squeal, just to get his students’ attention. Through the paper-thin walls of my college dorm room, I could hear from the next room either a loud blasting stereo or tv or his girlfriend’s commentary on his amorous prowess, “Will you stop laughing? Will you stop laughing?”  It may have made me laugh, but I still needed my sleep for the big test the next day. 

Now we come to my older ages. I wrote a little about this during my first year of doing the A to Z Blog Challenge in 2016 https://www.hdhstory.net/Storyblog/?p=550. Now, I get a piece of junk mailing about every 3 weeks, inviting me to get a free hearing test so that someone can sell me hearing aids, even before they know that I might need them. It’s also where at least once a day in talking with my wife or someone else, I have to ask, “What did you say? Because this is what I heard…” 

Here are a few new examples of mishearing people since the 2016 piece:

• My son was giving us a tour of the university he works at and commented about the “newness of the university.” To which I replied, “What about the nudists of the university?”

• My wife was in the bathroom washing her face and said that she had “splashed herself” My response, “You flashed yourself?”

• Sitting on the couch responding to whatever the request was with, “I’ll get up if you insist.” prompted her confusion, “What did you say about heating strips?”

• And finally when responding to my question “What are you looking for?” I heard, “I’m passing gas” from the kitchen instead of “half and half”. 

Though my hearing nowadays does give us lots to chuckle about, it also misses a lot of sounds that used to provide me comfort. The ambient sounds that I hear now are more likely to be an air filter or computer fan. And then there is that perpetual hiss that I get in my right hear constantly from tinnitus. 

I can compensate sometimes by putting on wireless headphones that focus the sound directly to my ears. This works well when doing foreign language tapes or when listening to either low voices or heavily accented dialogue on TV. Nothing seems to help when I’m in a crowd or in a noisy environment. I guess all this is expected as you age. 

So I occasionally do take those hearing tests. I’m informed that my hearing is okay for my age, and that hearing aids might help me but aren’t imperative. Since hearing aids are not covered very well by insurance, I live with what I have, “Okay hearing for my age.” 

What’s that I just said, “Soaking herring in port mayonnaise?”  Well, you know what I mean.