On a scale of 1 to 10

On a scale of 1 to 10

Heredity can be burdensome sometimes. When your parents and grandparents and ancestors even further back leave a history of certain ailments, you must constantly check to see if you have any of those indicators.

Leo thought he was going in for a routine examination. It did require a 20-minute surgical procedure. He’d had the same procedure before, and though he wasn’t looking forward to it, he knew it was a necessary checkup. Leo just wasn’t prepared for the amount of paperwork and the time the whole process took. 

First came the documents he had to read. He was given a packet of instructions and descriptions by the receptionist. She informed him, “Here take a couple of minutes to read this and make sure you understand it all, you will have to sign a statement to that effect just before the procedure is done.”

In most cases, Leo would just glance through the documents that were given to him and just sign it, pretty much the way he always handled user agreements online, not paying much attention to what he was reading.  But on this day, he was 10 minutes early for his appointment, and there were 5 double-sided pages of information to read. Leo had not brought his smartphone with him, as he didn’t want to leave it unattended while he was under the anesthesia required for this procedure. So with nothing to occupy his time he decided to read all the papers he was given. 

Leo was not a fast reader and the TV playing in the waiting room was not helping his concentration. He was sure the receptionist had a surprised look on her face as she watched him read the whole package. No one ever actually read any of the material that she gave out, especially since she said, it was not necessary to sign any of the papers she had given, they were Leo’s to keep. He would sign them digitally just before the surgery. 

Leo was not prepared for what he read. In the informed procedure consent it said, “I have been informed that there are other risks, such as severe loss of blood, infection, cardiac arrest, etc… I acknowledge that no guarantee or assurances have been made to me concerning the discovery of all possible lesions or conditions and concerning the results to the above operation, treatment or procedure.” 

That didn’t sound good. 

This was followed by the Anesthesiologist’s sheet which informed Leo, “I have been advised about the … complications from, risks of (which may include but are not limited to, allergic reactions to any of the medications used, nausea and vomiting, damage to teeth, aspiration, pneumonia, and death) and the alternatives to the proposed anesthetic plan.”

Now Leo began to be concerned. What if all this happened and he was under anesthesia? 

His doctor was behind schedule, so even though it was a 20-minute procedure he had to wait almost 3 hours before he was admitted to pre-op where he eventually did sign the digital papers. He was asked the usual questions. “Did you have anything to eat today? Are you a smoker? Do you drink?” and then the one that threw him the most, “On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your tolerance for pain?” He had never been asked that before. 

Why would they possibly want to know his tolerance for pain? Were they planning to torture him to get some secret information, and wanted to know at what level they should start at? Did they think that he belonged to some nefarious organization, which planned on destroying the planet in the guise of a meek retired school teacher? By threatening him with unexplained death and knowing his pain threshold, would they be able to get him to confess and foil the entire plot? He had already signed the “it’s okay, I’ve read and understood everything acceptance permission and answered their questions. What was their game? 

They had his clothes as he was strapped down on his gurney and wheeled into the operating room. All he could hear were the sounds of beeps coming from monitors all around him. He watched as another patient was being casually wheeled past him, hooked up to wires, not showing any indication of life. Was she still anesthetized or dead? What information had she had to give up? There was no escape.

The attendant asked him his name, when he was born and what procedure he was in for.  Didn’t they know? This did not sound right. He answered the questions, and they just smiled at him. That was the last thing Leo recalled as the meds they gave him took effect and everything went black. 

He woke up about a half-hour later, feeling fine. The doctor swept into his cubicle and said, “Everything’s fine, you’re clear, see you in 10 years.” And that was it. 

But what really did happen to him in that operating room? Did he give up any of the secrets he was sworn to keep to himself? He did notice when he got home that two of the electrode pieces that they are supposed to connect to the EKG machine were still attached to his skin. They were easy enough to remove, but why were they still there? Were they still transmitting some sort of data or his location? 

He asked the nurse who called him up the next day to see how he was doing, why they left those connectors attached to his body? He knew that that was not standard practice any other time he had an EKG. Her response was, “it sometimes causes pain when pulled off, because of the hair on your chest, so we leave them on for you to take off yourself.” 

Leo thought to himself, “but I was under sedation, I wouldn’t have felt any pain if they removed them.” Then came the phone call from Malaysia on his cell phone. What had he done now?

***Note – the incident above is a true story, but my the name has been changed to protect the innocent.