I’ll Park Here, Not!
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” said Franklin D. Roosevelt during his 1933 
inaugural address. It is obvious to me that he never went on a rollercoaster.
I have never been a fan of dangerous situations, no matter how safe they appear to be. That is why you will rarely see me at an amusement park. If I’m at one, look for me by the bumper cars at least I can control what they do.
This opinion has not changed from when I was a child to now. I don’t like the feeling of “this is the end of my life” as an exhilarating, fun experience.
Growing up, the only amusement park we ever went to was Rye’s Playland in the Palisades. Forget big roller coasters, I wouldn’t even go on the Crazy Mouse ride which supposedly was a tamer coaster (no ups and downs). Well, to be honest, I only went on it once. That was enough for me and set me on a path never to do anything with the word coaster in it again. Even today I will only put my hot tea and chocolate cups on placemats not coasters. *Not really.
Next, you have Ferris wheels. Who wants to be on something that can get stuck at the top or worse over the top and have to be airlifted down or have to climb down. You can’t fool me, I’ve seen it in movies. And you all wonder where my wild imagination comes from.
At Splish Splash, a nearby water park, you’re more likely to see me on the Lazy River than on any of the slides. I’m not a fan of speed, long drops, or being the one person the engineers that built the coasters and slides failed to take into account in their safety designs when they were approved.
When I was a teacher and went to Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey with our 
Middle School Band. One of my students encouraged me to go on the Log Flume with her. Basically, because she was scared and wanted me to show her it was all right and safe. So being the good role model I said I would. I got in the back of the log and she sat right in front of me. The log flume was deep enough that there were no restraints where you were sitting. As the ride ascended to the peak very slowly, I felt very secure since the student in front of me was so scared that she pressed back into me, becoming my safety restraint. One should never make jokes during one of these rides. At the top of the ride, before it takes off on its downward plunge there’s a brief pause. I suggested to the student that here’s where she could get off if she wanted to, which of course wasn’t true. She leaned forward as if to do that. I told her no, however her forward movement released me from my secure safety restraint feeling. And then of course the ride took over. I vowed never to do that again. My hat flew off on the way down the plunge and followed in our wake as we came to the end, where I picked it up again, glad that it had the sense to jump off my head and was also safe.
You can call me chicken. You can call me a scaredy-cat. You can call me whatever you want. To end with another famous quote. Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but I can assure you, Roller coasters and the like will never get another chance to hurt me.
