There have been a lot of articles written recently about the decline of interpersonal connectiveness due to the increase in use of technology. There are more people texting on cell phones, spending time on Facebook, Twitter and other online social networks, not to mention surfing the Internet and other electronic anti-socializing tools (iPad, iPod, .mp3 players). All this has contributed to people drifting away from face to face contact and truly knowing each other… or so the articles say.
My wife and son are strong believers in these thoughts. They credit the obsession with technology for increasing divorces, having less solid friendships and basically a decline in our society. Where I believe that all this technology is causing a disconnect between individuals, I cannot quite believe that it is the decline of our society. I’d like to think of it as the evolution of our society. Now understand that these opinions are all coming from someone who has become somewhat immersed in technology, where my wife and son have not.
When radio came into being, it brought families together. Families would gather around their radios to listen to programs of music, news and story. Television initially had a similar impact. Families would gather around those black and white TVs to watch whatever was programmed. A piece of this was due to the limited number of stations that one could listen to and in the case of TV the limited number of hours programs were on the air. I remember when stations would sign-off and the test pattern came on the screen.
But things changed as more and more programs came onto the scene. Now families began to individualize their watching/listening habits. Kids could watch kid programs and adults could watch adult programs. Sports-minded people watched their teams play, while Soap Operas filled the needs of those looking to daily drama. People could disassociate themselves with each other to do their own thing. There was less family time watching. Where I used to love Million Dollar Movie, where the same movie was shown 3 times a day, 5 days a week. Others in my home were usually satisfied with one showing. Did this impact family life and interpersonal connectiveness? Not having grown up in a time before radio, I don’t have the experience of what it was like then. Intuitively I would have to say yes there was more of a disconnect. Were their more divorces, less solid friendships, etc.? There must be research out there to dispute or back that up.
Now we move onto the computer and technology. I will not dispute that it has continued the trend that was begun in the start of this technology age.
In one sense I am less connected due to the time I spend on the computer. (see http://hdhstory.net/Storyblog/?p=188) My wife and son, though they use the computer, do not use it to my extent. (though my son spends a large chunk of his time on his video game systems.) On a similar note some interests (non-technical) in my family bring disconnect. My wife and son are not as interested in sports (specifically hockey, soccer and baseball) as I am. Science Fiction and Fantasy are another non-shared interest. Despite all of that, we still spend time with each other, care for each other, take walks, go on trips, watch some TV shows as a family, certainly eat and communicate with each other.
My disconnectedness does not make my family any less solid than others. When I’m needed to be there, I am. When given the choice between family and technology, for the most part I choose family. On the other hand what technology has allowed me to do is become more connected outside of my family with my extended family and others of my profession. I interact more with my older sister, who lives in Austin, now that we can Skype each other. Through Facebook and the Storytell Listserv, I am more connected with fellow storytellers. So when I do meet them face to face, which I hope will happen, we will know each other, beyond the superficial, which would be the case without these connections. Will these friendships be the same as the solid friendships of my youth? No they won’t. My father used to always tell me that I had no friends, just acquaintances. These connections will certainly be more than the acquaintances I had growing up.
And that’s where I think the change is going. Initially you may find more divorces and disconnect of people as they embrace technology and don’t communicate face to face. Will there be a drop in interpersonal skills and behavior? Probably. But as it becomes more mainstream for everyone, that connectiveness will still be there, just different. I don’t think that we will get to the stage as most comics point out that people in the same room text each other rather than speak to each other. This is truly the extreme; and as in any society there will always be extremes. People are more likely to text each other, when in other circumstances they wouldn’t have communicated at all. Possibly making the bond between them even stronger. At that point you should see an increase in the amount of stable relationships, because the more you communicate with others the more you get to know each other.
I guess time will tell how this change will affect our society. I optimistically hope it will improve it. You just have to be willing to accept that change is inevitable and give it time to work itself out. That’s the hard part.
