Toigle
The name’s Toigle. And pronounce it correctly. It’s “toy-gull”. I hate when people get it wrong. It’s not Tiggle or Toyglee; It’s Toigle! And yes I‘m your common ground turtle. But look out, I don’t show myself off like some of those fancy schmancy turtles. I keep a low profile. You might see me in your lawn or crossing your driveway.
Occasionally I even venture to cross streets, so keep your eyes out. You wouldn’t believe how many of my friends, with cracked shells, I’ve had to bury because one of you stupid drivers are not paying attention. Hey, we have a right to the roads too!
And trust me I like where I live. I can hide in the weeds or bushes when I need some privacy. I can roam in the open when I want to bask in the sun. I’ll even let you pick me up for a short time so you can learn more about turtles, but don’t plan on keeping me. I had a cousin once, lived in an apartment in the Bronx; lived in a little tank for almost 14 years. The keepers thought that putting in two rocks and a little water was enough to give him exercise. No wonder he walked so slow. His muscles obviously atrophied. Yeah he got fed well, but you wouldn’t believe where they kept him. His tank was by an open window that overlooked an empty alley. No bushes, no trees, just windows of other apartments. Talk about boring. And that tank sat right over a radiator. It was nice and cozy warm when the winter came and the window was closed, but when the stupid keepers left the window open and the radiator wasn’t on. We’re talking ice age. I’m amazed how he survived in those ice packs followed by saunas. We’re talking 14 years. No way I could do that.
So pick me up, look see, then put me back down. Do that and I may stick around. Otherwise first chance I get I’m gone. Don’t even bother looking for me. You’ve been warned.
And if you haven’t got it yet, just remember, the name’s Toigle.