Want to play ball?
Minna just came back from a soccer game. She works with the sixth grade team as a helper, providing refreshments and is also trained in first aid, should it be needed. From the look of things, she was quite pleased with day’s events.
“Our team won,” she shouted as she entered the house. “It was great, there was a big crowd. You should have heard the coach screaming at the kids. He knows how to push them to do their best. It’s great to win.”
Herman wasn’t as excited, he’d been through this before. “Losing is part of the game too. How do you think the kids on the other team felt?”
“Their coach was just as loud. Kids need to be pushed to succeed. I’m sure they were disappointed, but they’ll bounce back. You know how important sports are to a well-rounded individual,” Minna said.
Herman sighed. “But sports is not a be all and end all for kids. Some kids do gravitate to sports, but others prefer music, arts, writing, even academics rather than be a jock.”
Minna wasn’t fazed. “I disagree, you just have to see look on those kids faces as their parents are cheering them on. They love it. Sports is great for their self-esteem.”
“Not if you’re not into sports,” repeated Herman. “What if you’re always on a losing team? What if your parents are the ones that are into sports and are pushing you when you’d rather be doing something else? Sure you may look happy and feel good after a win. But is that because you feel good about yourself, or you feel good that your parents are giving you approval?”
“I’m not sure about that,” was Minna’s reply. “There’s nothing wrong with feeling good because your parents are proud of you.”
“Yes, but then you’re learning to do things like sports for them, not for yourself.”
Minna wasn’t convinced. “If that is so, then that would hold true for music and art also.”
“Probably,” Herman reacted. “But kids should not be pushed into things that they are not comfortable with. You can make them join teams to test out if it’s for them, but if their interests are elsewhere, they should be allowed to stop and pursue those interests. Not everyone is meant to be a jock. Only a small percentage of those will actually make it to the pros. Then there is also the research that shows that some contact sports should not be played at all by children until they are much older. There are long-lasting effects of injuries incurred in ones so young.”
Minna could see Herman’s point and she was aware of the pressure that some parents and coaches put on kids to always win and keep playing even when the kids themselves were into other pursuits. “I guess all you can do is worry about your own children. Give them the opportunity to try all different kinds of activities and hope that they find a niche for themselves.”
“For once you and I are on the same page,” Herman agreed.
