As a writing assignment from a writing workshop I am taking, I had to choose from a list of nonsense words, taken from the book, The Nonsense Show by Eric Carle and write something. Here’s what I wrote:
Whiplash
When my mind wanders it is amazing the nonsense that it comes up with. It also helps to have a writing assignment dedicated to nonsense. When I was teaching I was known for bringing up topics that had nothing to do with the conversation that was taking place. One teacher complained that I was giving her whiplash every time I did that. So it became a process in discussions involving me, that I would preempt these kinds of reactions, by just announcing the word “whiplash”, meaning what I’m about to say has nothing to do with the conversation at hand.
“Whiplash”
It was a dark and stormy night, there was not a cloud in the sky. I was sitting on my porch taking a walk when all of a sudden I saw a very loud noise. It was coming from behind me, so I moved forward to get a closer look. There were 4 square shapes each rolling smoothly across the icy ground toward me, getting farther and farther away. Closing my eyes I could clearly see that these beings, for that was what they must have been, could tell that I was shaking with fear, as calm as a tranquil sea.
Suddenly they began to sing. It was a familiar tune, one that I had never heard before. So I began to dance, not making a move. I did not understand a word that they were saying, as they told me to take them to my leader, which I refused to do. Luckily for me when we reached my leader, who was quite astute, not knowing a thing about these aliens, he chose to embrace them and expelled them from our land.
“Whiplash”
Don’t you wish that every time you see a driver of a car, flick their cigarette butt out of the window, that as if by magic, said butt would be immediately transported to the center of the driver’s living room. “I’m sorry sir, but it seems that your house burning down was a deliberate act of arson. It seems to have started from a cigarette butt, intentionally placed in the center of your living room. The evidence appears to show that your DNA was on that butt.”
“Whiplash”
I’ve often wondered, whether you are a folder or a crumpler, depends on the type of toilet tissue you use. Or is it a genetic trait? I can’t remember anyone ever teaching me how to wipe. And which way the toilet paper comes off the roll. My sister’s and I do it in opposite directions, so we didn’t get it from our parents. Btw the correct way is over the top in a clockwise direction…check the patent for it.
“Whiplash”
Do you ever dream about flying? I do all the time. I kind of leap up as high as I can and somehow keep going. Why don’t I ever dream about landing?
“Whiplash”
Sometimes you have to create whiplash in your conversations. If you are in the middle of a discussion or someone else is talking and you see something that you must share right away or all the other participants will miss it, you have to say it at that moment, like if you see a hummingbird land 2 feet away from where you’re standing, or if you notice a piece of fluff stuck on the speaker’s shirt (they could miss it if it flew away on its own, or you might want to point it out to the speaker before anyone else notices it before it flies away).
“Whiplash”
Oh, fiddle-faddle! I’m sorry, what were we talking about again?
